"Alea jacta est" (not Ceasar)

"Anybody who thinks a little 9,000-line program [Mosaic/Netscape] that's distributed free and can be cloned by anyone is going to affect anything we do at Microsoft has his head screwed on wrong." (Bill Gates)

"Any warrior can take lifes, but a truly great warrior struggles to save them." (Czar of Sea)

The Bangladeshi activist Shahidul Alam expresses these differences poetically when he says, "A modem costs more than a cow."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder." (Dion L.)

"The best way to predict the future is to invent it." (Alan Kay)

"But ... for what is it good?" (An IBM engineer about the idea of a microprocessor, 1968)

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot. C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg." (Bjarne Stroustrup (quoted in Expert C Programming, Peter van der Linden))

"C++ is to C as Lung Cancer is to Lung" (Electronic Design, July 24, 1995, p105)

"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers." (Pablo Picasso)

"The Cow was outstanding in her field" (EDN June 23, 1997, p155)

"Don't Take Life Too Seriously, It's Only A Temporary Situation." (Garfield greeting card)

"Es muß gehen!" (Anon, engineer at Heineken)

"The existence of radiation from black holes seems to indicate that gravitational collapse is not as final and irreversibleas we once thought." (Stephen Hawkings, A Brief History of Time, p124)

"Fast enough never is." (Advertisment in EDN ?)

"The generation of random numbers is far to important to leave to chance." (tag line)

"Give a man fire and he will be warm for a day, Set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life." (Unknown)

"He who cannot in 64k program, cannot in 512k." (Mrs. Verda Spell)

"Hydrogen is not the most common substance in universe... stupidity is." (Frank Zappa)

"I'm an American, I believe in the American Way,'' he said. ''I worry if the government encourages open source, and I don't think we've done enough education of policy makers to understand the threat." (The original Jim Allchin (Microsoft executive) quote)

IANALBMSISDMWM (I am not a lawyer but my sister is, so don't mess with me) (Tag line)

"I believe there is a global need for perhaps five computers." (Thomas Watson, IBM boss, 1943)

"If I hear something I forget it, if I see something I remember it, if I do something I understand it." (Ancient Chinese Proverb)

"If C gives you enough rope to hang yourself, then C++ gives you enough rope to bind and gag the neighbourhood, rig the sails on a small ship, and still have enough rope to hang yourself from the yardarm." (Electronic Design, July 24, 1995, p105)

"If the automobil had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everybody inside." (Electronic Design, July 24, 1995, p106)

"In the future there could be computers that weigh less than 1.5 ton." (Popular Mechanics, 1949)

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals ... why are they made of flesh?" (Internet)

"I see some wires that are missing." (Bruce Frazier, 1968)

"It is my heart-warm and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us - the high, the low, the rich, the poor, the admired, the despised, the loved, the hated, the civilized, the savage - may eventually be gathered togther in a heaven of everlasting rest and peace and bliss - except the inventor of the telephone." (Mark Twain, 1890)

"The KISS principle: Keep It Simple Stupid!" (Anon)

"Life is a suicide mission." [(Jane) Orson Scott Card's Children of the Mind]

"Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener!" (Dion L.)

"May all your PUSHes be POPped." (Old Irish Blessing, contributed by F. Holsworth, 1979)

"Magic is real unless declared an integer." (Rick Cook's Wizardry Compiled)

"Marriage is a three ring circus: 1 - engagement ring 2 - wedding ring 3 - suffering" (Dion L.)

"Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 th of your life!" (Dion L.)

"Män är som blandfärs, hälften nöt hälften svin." (Babban Larson)

"No man is an island, But if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie them together, they make a pretty good raft." (tag line)

"No matter how much the hardware team improves things, the software team will waste it." (Unknown)

"No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it." (C. Schulz)

"Not having sendmail is like not having VD." (Electronic Design, July 24, 1995, p106)

"On a clear disk you can search forever." (Jeff Mischinsky)

"Please Engage Brain Before Putting Mouth Into Gear." (Ancient ECUPAN saying).

"Prediction is very difficult - especially about the future." (Niels Bohr)

"The probability of introducing an error (or more than one) while eliminating a known error ranges from 15 to 50 percent." (EDN, 198x)

ROLCIOF (Rolling on the floor cause I'm on fire) (Tag line)

Ski area warning sign: "Do not cross this line. Danger, CLIFFS. Crossing this line could result in DEATH and/or loss of lift ticket." (EDN June 23, 1997, p155)

"Smith & Wesson: the original point and click interface." (Dion L.)

"Stimpy hated procedural programming. He liked programs to form one unbroken wodge of source, with a minimum of annotation. All variable names had to be prefixed with "THE", as in "THE_ITEM_COUNT", "THE_VAT_TOTAL". The programming (all done under DOS) had to take place in a 40-column window. Minimum tab size for any indentation was 10 characters. John often wondered what planet Stimpy was from." - (from http://www.bad-managers.com/BodgeCo/bodgeco.shtml)

"Talk funny you would, if hand up ass puppet you were." (Yoda)

"There are Lies, Damned Lies and Benchmarks." (Anon)

"There is no end to what can be accomplished if you don't care who gets the credit." (Art Rennisson)

"There is no possible reason why someone would want a computer at home." (Ken Olson, President and Founder of DEC, 1977)

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others." (Groucho Marx)

"Time is an illusion. At lunchtime doubly so." (Garfield)

"To support a poor woman is hard, to put up with a rich woman is torture." (Internet)

"Real programmers don't use menues." (Ad in EDN, 198x)

"Software is like sex; it's better when it's free" (Linus Torvalds)

"UNIX is computer scientology, not computer science." (Electronic Design, July 24, 1995, p105)

"We go about our daily lives understanding almost nothing of the world." (Carl Sagan)

"What I really want to know is if God had any choice in creating Earth." (Albert Einstein)

"When people from Poland are called poles, why are people from Holland not called holes?" (Anon)

"When you say 'I wrote a program that crashed Windows', people just stare at you blankly and say 'Hey, I got those with the system, *for free*'." (Linus Torvalds)

"Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know." (J. Winter Smith)

"Women should love their men less and try to understand them better; men should love their wifes more and not try to understand them" (Ancient Chinese Proverb)

"The Women that seeks to be the equal of men, lacks ambition." (Internet).

"You have moved your mouse, please reboot to make this change take effect" (Martin Bene)

"You want it in one line? Does it have to fit in 80 columns? :-)"  (Larry Wall in <7349@jpl-devvax.JPL.NASA.GOV>)

Last Edited: 5 July 2001